Making the Most of the Present

By Tanya

For me, 2012 brought forth many fitness highs and lows. It was my plan to run the same amount of races as I did in 2011- eight 10k's and two half marathons - with the omission of the full marathon. My dream was to break my previous PR's but I knew that would be really tough considering that I had a ridiculously fast first half marathon experience and I was still experiencing occasional knee pain from my over zealous first marathon training. Never the less, I like to dream big. I figured that if I trained smarter and listened to my body more, I'd be fine.

My first 10k went well and I felt good.  But as my training progressed I was not able to work up to the speed I had at this time last year pre-injury. In my mind I had resigned to the fact that last year was beginners luck on fresh legs and that I would most likely never run that fast again. When it came time for my first half marathon of 2012, I did in fact come up short. Regardless, I know I did the best I could and I was proud of my performance. After the race I took time off and then continued to train smart. However after the next 10k I once again found myself dealing with more pain. This time it was in my hip flexor and lower back.

I decided to go to physical therapy to try to fix the root issue. I was optimistic that once I started to correct the suspected cause of my pain - muscle imbalance and quad tightness - I'd be free to run like I mentally wanted to. A few months of PT brought more strength and stability, but the pain would pop back up after a few weeks of running. I continued on this roller coaster of a few good running weeks followed by a week of recovery for the rest of the year. The remainder of my 10k races fortunately fell on good running weeks and I was even able to break one PR from last year.  I tried to not get disheartened when my pain would flare up and I'd have to take a break from running.

My anticipated couple of months of PT turned into five with an additional one month at the chiropractor. I was able to run three miles on a treadmill but running outside caused my back to lock up. I gave up the second half marathon I had hoped to run again in December.

Is it where I wanted to be? No. I wanted to be outside running. But I did my best to maintain a good attitude and work with what my body had to to offer. This meant doing most of my workouts on the elliptical at the gym or in the swimming pool. I am grateful that through it all I was still motivated to get any kind of a workout and I was able to continue my cross training and retain some of my fitness.

With the first race of the 2013 ORRC 10k series fast approaching, I had to seriously evaluate my running plans for this year. I prayed and wrestled and came to the conclusion that this year I should just take each day as it comes. I opted not to sign up for the 10k series or pre-register for any race while my body remains in this state.

I'll be honest.  It was a tough decision to make. After falling in love with running and racing it's hard  know what I'm missing out on. It's frustrating to mentally be ready to go, but have a body that will not cooperate. Also it's tough to not be out there running with all my running friends. I often have to check my attitude and replace my envy with gratitude.

Personal goals, dreams, and desires can give us direction, hope, and motivation. But a problem can arise when our "happiness" is dependent on them. I often get so focused on the future that I forget to live fully in the present. There is a great quote from my kids' movie Kung Fu Panda that says, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present'."

It is still my dream to run an ultra marathon.

It is still my desire to be outside running.

But for today, I choose to do the best with where I am.

No matter where you find yourself today - whether you are chasing down your dreams, or like me, swimming in a sea of uncertainty - may you always remember that life is a gift. Won't you join me in making the most of the present?